My second favorite Soapbox

So yesterday I posted from my favorite soapbox, race. Today I am posting from my second favorite soapbox sexism. I have experienced sexism my entire life. In first grade I decided that I wanted to play basketball. Well there wasn't a place for first grade girls to play basketball. So my dad convinced the varsity coach who was having a clinic for 3-7 grade girls to let me participate. He agreed to help run a clinic for younger girls the following year if they let me participate. So that is what happened. There was no league for girls just a clinic. SO when I entered third grade i played boys biddy basketball. The coach was not happy to have a girl on the team and boys tried to beat me up as often as they could. Trust me I held my own.

Well we have come a long way in 15 years. Now women's college basketball is televised regularly, there is a professional league that is also televised. Not that either get equal coverage but it is at least better. There also many more sports opportunities for young women that not I did not have.

Well unfortunately my local paper hasn't caught the bug. They have posted the brackets for the men's tournament four days in a row, the women's bracket ZERO. Today they did run an article about the women's NCAA tournament. The problem with the article is was about how several women playing in the tournament have connections to male professional athletes. No I am not kidding! Sadly I feel as though every year I write a letter to the paper so that it isn't going to do to much I just think it is sad with as much progress has been made we still have to fight for media coverage.

Obama '08

For a very ling time I have been leaning toward Obama over Clinton. I like them both and if Mrs. Clinton is nominated I'm 90% sure she will get my vote. Yet after reading Obama's speech on race and on his pastor he has my vote. As has been the case over the course of this blog I written about race and my struggle with my own racial identity. I think racism and the concept of race are two issues that I feel most passionate about in my life. I also feel the connection to this particular scenario, because I stand in a pulpit every week and I am working toward my ordination. So this case could not hit any loser to home.

Obama has true vision and hope for this country. Without vision and hope we have nothing. We are a country that is spiraling downward, economically, socially, educationally, etc. I think Barack Obama can be the leader who turns us around, who bring some sense of unity to congress and to our nation.

I applaud his honesty in what it is to live the black experience, what it is to come from a multiracial/ multicultural family. He didn't let anyone off the hook, not his pastor, not even his own grandmother. What he did was name real experience. For all those who question his political experience, I say to them you may be right, he may not have as many votes in the senate, he may not have deep connections through out the world, he may not already be connected to the inner workings of Washington and then I say but all of that has not worked for us so far. All of those connections and types of world experience is great but if you lack hope and vision what good are they?

ETA: I hope no one sitting in my congregation runs for office and is held accountable for my statements!

Oh how I love March

I know I am one of the few people who feel this way but I think March is one of the best months of the year! First and foremost there is March Madness. Between conference tourney and then the NCAA tourney both men's and women's who could ask for anything else but there is more Especially this year. There is spring break ( which I spent most of in San Diego) then there is Holy week which yes is busy but has always been one of my favorite times of the year! AND there is my BIRTHDAY and this year I am 25! Only five more years til thirty and yes I am excited about that. And then there is the minor holiday of St Patty's day which is typically a good time with my friends. And Of course when you get to march spring is right around the corner THANK GOD!!! Yes it is finally march and things are starting to look up again :-)

Exciting things

I have lots of fun stuff coming up

San Diego with one of my closest HS friends
Palm Sunday
Easter
March Madness
My 25th Birthday!
End of the semester is in sight!

I am

Some times I feel like all I do on this blog is complain. So i wanted to post something positive here. I have been going through a lot of angst in my life lately and I have realized that quite a bit of it is self created. A lot of it come out of trying to live my life through someone else's lens. I know that there will be more angst to come, but I I think some of it will settle because a huge monkey came off m back today. As a result of some conversation with a few important people in my life I have come to claim a few things about myself and I think they need to be posted here.
I am a child of God
I am a friend
I am a sister
I am a daughter
I am called to ministry
I am biracial
I am ready for a struggle
I am me

General Conference

Ok so General conference is coming up in the Methodist church and there has already been a lot of blogging going on already. And of course the hot button issues of human sexuality keeps rearing it's head. Here's my question why is that the one issue both sides dig in their feet for and are ready to fight till possibly the death? Now I am of course one of those people I do feel that it is a very important issue of inclusively, love and civil rights. I am not throwing any stones in glass houses here or I am at least not trying too.

However, I don't feel like there are any other really burning issues that people are really passionate about. Maybe I just don't know enough yet. Maybe, there are other issues that we feel passionate about. I know that we need to start getting passionate about saving the Church. Not just the Methodist church but the church in general. We are losing a whole generation and I am afraid we are simply going to continue losing generations. I think we need to look at how far we have gone away from Wesley's vision ( at least in my opinion).

So what do you think is important? What issues should we as a church be discussing


***** Beth Quick has a similar conversation going on over at her blog

Lots of questions no answers

So I haven't really had much inspiration to blog recently. Or at least when I have an idea I typically have at least 101 other things to do. However yesterday I had lunch with one of my classmates Melissa who along with her husband and two of our other classmates want to do a church plant in New England.

Melissa and I of course had a conversation about church and how frustrating it can be yet how much we love it . Especially the United Methodist Church. Melissa is debating about what to do next year as to rather or not to take a part-time appointment or to take a job as more of a program/ small groups director at another church. When talking to the pastor at the church of her second option she was asked a simple question... "Why aren't doing what you already know want (called?) to do?" And that got us talking at lunch. Why aren't we living out the ministry we called to do. Yes I know many of your are thinking you are seminary is part of the process you are living out your call. And yes in many way I agree with you. But there is also this part me that wonders about why is ordination so important ( yes it still is very important to me I'll discuss that in another post) and why are we so drawn to the Methodist Church even when sometimes it becomes and optical to what we feel called to do.

We didn't come up with a whole lot of answers during this conversation. (To be honest at seminary we never really do come up with answers, but we sure do know how to complain!) However, it did really get me thinking. Truly thinking about how to at least start to come up with plausible solutions (if we ever do come up with solutions they typically are to idealistic/unrealistic).

Right now I am at the point where for me personally, I need to truly get down to what I want vs what I am called to do. I need to set aside some of the want pieces and be authentic in my call. I need to accept that there are obstacles that at this point are very navigable. I need to stop living in both the fear of failure and the strange feel of success. In some ways feel as though I am my own biggest obstacle.

As if i didn't know this already

I knew this already so I don't know it is coming as a shock... but the church still doesn't get it. I keeping hoping and I keep seeing glimpses that the church wants to change. At least they are talking about wanting to change. And even occasionally thinking about just skipping the 20th century since we already missed that, and moving into the 21st. However, today we sat an in all day meeting with our bishop talking about change and visioning, and again I saw these glimpses of hey we are getting this, even the leadership is moving in the right direction. especially when she talked about her vision for merging conferences which is going to happen very soon. i was actually inspired by that.

However are are so not ready ready for a post modern church. It is even still hard for us to think on the post modern perspective, before we throw it out the window. I must say though I did have a really good conversation with a pastor who I have meta few times, but I would have never this type of conversation with. She has been really changed by the church she is serving and is seeing ministry in a whole new light in a very positive way. so that made the day a little more worth while.

Political matchin quiz

I found this interesting... i am happy though that John Edwards is at the top of my viable candidates. i have like him from the beginning. We just need a Dem in the white house!

79% John Edwards
78% Mike Gravel
78% Dennis Kucinich
73% Barack Obama
71% Hillary Clinton
67% Joe Biden
65% Chris Dodd
64% Bill Richardson
43% Rudy Giuliani
33% John McCain
28% Mitt Romney
27% Mike Huckabee
25% Tom Tancredo
16% Fred Thompson
15% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Watching the debates

I'm watching the facebook/ABC/NH debates.. and can i just say right now the Republicans are really pissing me off! They seem to be some of the most unamerican unchristian people I have ever heard. so I wasn't going to vote republican and i am certainly not going to now.



Democrats
Phil Richardson:
How do ask another government step aside?
good of of turning it positive!

Hillary Clinton: way to take it down the negative path

Barack Obama: I wish you would explain why you have changed your mind. So they can stop attacking you for it.

John Edwards:
so how about we just start nuclear world war three greeeeaaattt

Ok i got tired and stopped bloging my comments




Everyone: THE UNTIED STATES OF AMERICA DOES NOT GET TO DECIDE THE GOVERNMENT OF EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD IF THEY ARE NOT A DIRECT THREAT TO US LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!

I am also very sick of them talking about people who have changed their minds. yes i understand that we have to look at voting record, but if a person has a valid reason for changing their mind, and can defend the change of mind then that should be good enough! people are allowed to change!


Overall Thoughts:
In the very beginning i was torn between Hillary and Barack. I really really wanted to support Hillary, but I really don't think that she makes good points., she chooses words poorly, she opened the door up attacks against herself. I just don't know if i can go there. I think that I would rather see Barack or Edwards. if Hillary gets nominated she will most likely get my vote but I am really struggling to support her right now. I love that Hillary and Barack dodged the last question. Phil Richardson may have been the best on that question.

Friday five

New year resolutions Friday 5

Well it had to be didn't it, love them or hate them I bet you've been asked about New Year resolutions. So with no more fuss here is this weeks Friday Five;

1. Do you make New Year resolutions? yes

2. Is this something you take seriously, or is it a bit of fun? I try to take them seriously

3. Share one goal for 2008. Always be honest with myself

4. Money is no barrier, share one wild/ impossible dream for 2008 Spend three months in Colombia, three months in Argentina, three months in Uganda, and three months in Spain

5. Someone wants to publish a story of your year in 2008, what will the title of that book be? Faith: It's a Good Struggle.

Couldn't resist

The Recipe For Pastor to be

3 parts Dignity 2 parts Aspiration 1 part Humor Splash of Cleverness Finish off with an olive

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

Year End Post

So it is December 31st. I can't believe the year 2007 is over. I am not quite sure what to thing about this year. I do know that the year really flew by. It seems like it was just a few months ago that I was packing to go to Guatemala. Guatemala was with out a doubt a life changing experience. I am so glad i took that trip. 2007 was the first full calendar year that I spent in seminary. It has probably been the toughest year of my academic and personal life. I have grown and changed a lot over this year. My friendships have become the most important piece of my life. with out these friendships I don't know how I would survive. This year I have really learned the friends that I can count out, and what it truly means to be a friend. I have learned that friends come and go and that going doesn't always need to be a dramatic event. That sometimes friendships just change and occasionally they end, but that does not make them any less valuable.

In 2007 I learned the values and stress of family. My grandfather's health is starting to fail. My father went through his first surgery. i have seen what it is to try and keep track of three house holds, and how large families are a blessing and a curse all at once. I have learned that family goes far beyond blood. that there are some friendships that blur the line of friend and family and for all of those people who blur that line I am most grateful.

There are two things that are very clear to me about 2007. I am going to become a minister and ministry will always be a part of me in some way shape or form. The second thing that is most clear to me in 2007 is that I am still learning what it means to be an adult, but maybe that is something that we never fully accomplish or maybe it is...

I wish everyone a happy and healthy 2008!

* Merry Christmas*

Well I am almost done with my traditional holiday festivities. The last stop will be around 5:30 when we go tot my paternal grandparents house for dessert and presents. I have survived my first Christmas Eve service, although I thought I was going to lose my voice. the service was nice and more special to me than I thought it was going to be. Christmas eve has always been my favorite day of the holiday season. even all those years that I had to go to the evil uncle's house, Christmas eve has always been my favorite. Mostly because of church services. As I looked onto the congregation with their candles lit, every happy memory of every Christmas eve came rushing back.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Let it snow let it snow let it snow

OK well i am going back on what I used to say. I used to always so I liked snow until Christmas and then I was done. well I have decided I like snow on Christmas eve as long as it is not to much to mess up travel plans, so that there can be a bout an inch or two of snow on the ground for Christmas Day and then i am done. Same New Year's eve a light snowfall at Midnight is perfect. To bad I live in the Northeast and that is just not the case. We are well into storm number three. the first storm was mostly ice , the second storm was ice and snow and the third storm was snow (4inches) and now sleet. oh fun oh fun.

What i have learned is that when my parents can longer shovel their own driveway I am either hiring someone to do it for them or they are going to live in "the home". We live in the same town as my grandparents which has been wonderful growing up, but now it means that we have two driveways to clear. Even with the snow blower (snow thrower depending on where you are from) it is a lot of work. It is kind of sad up until last winter Grandpa who was 85 at the time could still do all of this stuff for himself. sadly in the past couple years grandpa's health has been in a real decline. Unfortunately none of my 2000 ( OK not that many but there are a lot) want to really deal with it. Leaving my parents to deal with most of it. To be honest my one of my parents is handling it better than the other. It has consumed our lives and conversations and is just causing stress. of course I realize that a large part of the problem is that my parents are HORRIBLE at communicating.

Needless to say this is certainly a learning experience for me. Both in life and in ministry. I am in no way trying to counsel my family but definitely keeping track of things to keep in mind anytime I see this in the future.

Winding Down

The Semester is winding down and the year is winding down. I haven't been blogging as much as often as i normally do. Not because I don't have a lot going on because some of it is not blogable and some because I have completely lacked motivation to do so. I am in such a weird place in my life. Last week at school i had a really crappy week. i don't know exactly what ti was but I felt really stressed and sad. The worst part about it was that i could with out a doubt feel God in it. It was a very odd place to be in. I;m starting to come out of that a little bit now.

Right now I have one final and one paper standing in the way of my break. I decided not to take a class over Jan term. I have five goals for myself over the month of Jan.:

1. Visit some friends this is already planned so i know i will get this done

2. Fill out and send off my application for CPE yes i know I am probably already to late
3. Get some planning done for Church
4. read at least two books not for school
5. Get back into a regular gym routine that I can maintain during school

In other news I cut my hair. And I mean I really cut it. I had about 10 inches cut off and I donated it. I am getting used to the new style but everyone else seems to like it. I also lately have been worried about being single forever. While I am fully aware there is nothing wrong with being single for some reason the past week and half i have been really dwelling on it. I used to be the girl who championed singleness. Oh well. Not to much else is really going on. I am excited about getting to see my friends over January. I have some other political/ social justice/church stuff I am going to blog about but they will have to wait.

Off to bed before the final tmw

Friday Five!

Here then is this weeks Friday 5:

1. You have a busy week, pushing out all time for preparing worship/ Sunday School lessons/ being ready for an important meeting ( or whatever equivalent your profession demands)- how do you cope? I cope by just pushing through and then venting to my seminary /pastor friends who share the same problem.

2. You have unexpected visitors, and need to provide them with a meal- what do you do? Pray that i have some tomato sauce in the cupboard and some noodle and one other ingredient (meet or seafood) put on a smile and have a meal

Three discussion topics:

3. Thinking along the lines of this weeks advent theme; repentance is an important but often neglected aspect of advent preparations.....I need to make this a priority

4. Some of the best experiences in life occur when you simply go with the flow..... most of my closest friendships have come out of going with the flow

5. Details are everything, attention to the small things enables a plan to roll forward smoothly... this would be why things go don't go smoothly in my life

Bonus if you dare- how well prepared are you for Christmas this year? better than usual

Friday Five! Bah Humbug

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?

Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?

Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)

Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow.

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....

1) dessert/cookie/family food... First is Fruit Cake, my Dad loves the stuff. Next is anything my uncle's second wife cooks

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...) The home brewed beer my uncle gives us ( yes the same uncle with the wife that can't cook)

3) tradition (church, family, other) the staircase picture with my cousins at said uncle's house

4) decoration those blow up lawn ornaments especially when there are 250 on one lawn

5) gift (received or given) received fondue sets and yes it is sets plural because we got them several years in a row ( guess which person gives us that every year!)

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it. Johnny Mathis not because he is a bad singer but because my mom plays it over and over again! Also, several songs were ruined for me because my favorite uncle used to force the cousins to sing them

I know, I know.... pretty grumpy for November but why not get it out of our systems now so we are free to enjoy the rest of the festivities.

Found this interesting

I found this interesting.. I found this at cheesehead's and she found it elsewhere:

As found at Mary Beth's place. Here is a game developed by Jeanne of Social Class and Quakers, based on the copyrighted exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University.

If you play and post, please acknowledge their copyright.

Bold items are privileges I have had. Italics are mine.

Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp (sports and church camps)
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child it was done by family friends
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

Certified!!!!

I am a certified candidate for ordained ministry in the United Methodist church ( well provisionally assuming my psych eval is ok and nothing comes up in my back ground check. I am super excited. I wasn't to nervous going in. Only a little bit. I feel like I answered the question honestly and with integrity. I think one of the members is less than thrilled with. This one person basically asked me if you have to be part of a church to follow Jesus .. my answer in a nut shell NO. Yes I think Church helps in many ways, but is not a requirement. I mean aren't we supposed to be promoting and encouraging faith spirituality and a relationship with God and not just the church?

But I still passed my DCOM .....One more step down about a million to go.....



HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE