Sunday, August 03, 2008

gotta love church folks

So blogging for me this summer hasn't really happened as you can. It largely it is because I have been super busy working two jobs. The fun Job has taken up way more time then it was supposed to!

So Here has what i have been up to:
I went to Northeast Jurisdictional Conference. Yes, I am a conference junkie. But was really cool to sit in on the candidates interviews and watch Peggy Johnson be elected and then go to the consecration service. Of course I left another conference with more question than answer about what ministry is for me.

I spend the weekend before NEJ exploring the DC metro area while visiting a friend. I am still considering moving there but not for a little while. I really did like it but we still have to weight the pros and cons

I did my first committal service follow a few days later by my first funeral. I guess I am lucky that I have been in ministry almost a year before I had to do them. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I celebrated my roommate taking the bar.

I have been spending lots of bonding time with the other young adult clergy in town. Let's just there are always lots of laughs and liquid encouragement.

In two weeks I leave for Israel! I can't wait!!!!

Oh and a bonus conversation that happened today:
Parishioner: Pastor, Can I tell you something?
Me: Sure, what would like to tell me?
Parishioner: I think we have the prettiest pastor in the conference
Me: ( not know quite what to say to that) Well thanks ( I walk away knowing that he probably hasn't listened to a word I said since i have been here!)

Do women say that to male pastors??!?!?!?!

Ok now you are caught up on my life.. as you were

Friday, June 13, 2008


So maybe my last post should have really been in my personal journal and not out on the internet for the world to see. However, last night I went to bed still rather pissed off and annoyed with the world of men , but more myself. This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and like a whole new person! It really does help to get this stuff out of my system. Plus, I have great freinds who are wonderfully supportive, and remind me that I am great even with out a significant other. Thank you to all of those who have put up with me these last few months you are the best!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Social Norms

So for those of you who know me (and really I think it is only my few friends who know about this blog who actually read it) and for those of you who don't no that typically i like to throw social norms right out the window. But lately I have been focusing a lot on one social norm in particular... that a girl in her mind twenties should be looking for "the one" and for whatever reason I have been really caught up in this lately. I have been aware of it for about the past year, but the last few weeks I have been dwelling on it. I know a large part of that lies in the fact that very few men especially mid-20 to early-30 men want to date pastors [ yes i did research ;-)]. The second problem is that the majority of my friends are either married, engaged, or in a very serious relationship. Fourth I am fully aware that i am a lot like my Aunts and 4 out of the seven aren't married. So I am just feeling like the odds are against me.

That has led me to make some bad relationship decisions over the last two years. First was commitment phobe boy who really like that we had a long distance relationship. Who also, wasn't so into God let alone the whole Church thing, but at least said he was supportive of me. And truthfully of the bunch he was the best at truly listening to me. And he was one heck of a kisser!

Followed by soon to be lawyer summer fling who was all wrong for me and a total jerk

Then there was really nice, really sweet, good head on his shoulders engineer. Who wasn't into the whole church thing but was raised Methodist and wasn't anti-church. He even came to hear me preach a few times, and went to the ballet with me. However, broke up with me over the phone because, " you are a wonderful person, but I just thought I would be more into at this point ( we had been dating a little more the 6months) and before i get married I think i need more dating experience." Yes he said this to me over the phone. Yes i was upset, but honestly there was no real spark there as much as I tried to convince myself that there was!

Followed, by best friend who I had a crush on, who I spilled my guts to, who I now now i will never date, because we have totally different views on how relationships work. I have come to realize I am way more mature than he is even though he would never admit that, nor do I think will he ever see it.

And my last ( hopefully) bad choice, musician who used to play in the band of above mentioned, who is going through a divorce and has a child. Need i say more? But just in case let's just say i listened to him pour out his heart and soul recently and haven't heard from him since.....

So i am making a pact with myself and all of you. i am not allowed to dwell on this. Yes, I can talk about it here or there but i am not allowed to dwell. All good things take time right?....

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Annual Confernce

So it is a day after Annual Conference ended. It was a great conference. I am becoming one of those people who loves conferences. This year's was exciting because one of the few under 35s among us was ordained. It was so great to be there knowing that someday that will be me!

Of course the best thing about conference is getting to see everyone. I have been adopted into a great circle of cleregywomen. Who simply amaze me in their commitment to ministry. Plus they have introduced me to some of the most wonderful people in and around the conference who I probably would not have ordinarily met. They are wonderful group of women and I am indebted to them for their guidance and support.

Along those same lines the young clergy ( they are also apart of the above mentioned group) getting to spend time together is always lots of fun. We can come up with some pretty random and fun things sometimes!

There was really only one really really important legislation that happened. We voted for the VT portion of Troy AC to go to the New England AC. It was really hard because not all are in agreement about this happening and it will be sad to not be able to gather with our peers each year, and also to lose the richness that Vt offers. Plus one of us youngins will more that likely be leaving us and that is really hard. We were part of a handful that voted against the action. Most people supported it at the suggestion of the boundaries committee. We keep saying that the relationships will be maintained despite of boundary lines and I know that some of them will, but it will be hard, seeing how we barely maintain the relationships we have within the conference.

Overall, though it was great conference. Bryan stone taught me more in two speeches than I learned in a whole semester. Opening worship was great, and the fellowship after sessions was lots of fun. I have one word Kola...

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Finally we are talking

Finally we are talking about race in this country. And we aren't just talking about black and white or brown. We are talking about what it is to be multiracial in America. MSN/ MSNBC has a great piece on their website.

This is something that I have been talking about for a long time, because it is my life. It took a multiracial ( who identifies as Black as is his choice) presidential candidate to get us having these conversations. We are starting to have really conversation, to ask honest questions, to ask hard questions, some that may even be offensive, we are finally doing it. It has been a long time coming. I think growing up in America in this day in age is a hard thing for a child of any race or any combination of races. We are a culture that has very strong stereo types and expectations of how you should act based on race and gender. I appear to be white upper middle class so I should act a certain way, my cousins appear to be black upper middle class so they need to act a certain way. I can't tell you the number of looks I get when I with my cousins. If I am with my younger cousins some people assume I am a single mother, because obviously if they were my children no blackman plays a father role ( i am being very sarcastic there!) If I am with my older cousin I get stares from both white and blacks because they assume we are dating. It insane.

The situation is worsened by the fact that we make assumptions about who people are and what they should be. We need to stop. Schools, churches, businesses, etc need to stop asking their employees to do demographics. Please do not ask me or a school teacher, or a manager, etc to do demographics of race. I can not stand in front of my church assume the race of the members. I would bet my life that 8 out of 10 people maybe even 9.5 out 10 people would assume I am white .... WRONG... I do not want to deny part of myself because of the way I look.

I hope these discussion continue and maybe we really will make some lasting progress when it comes to race in this country.

ETA: There is also a great article on religion and race here

A step in the right direction

I am happily surprised my lovely home state has said that it will recognize the marriage of couples, who happen to be of the same sex, who get married in a state where same sex marriages are legal. It doesn't legalize gay marriage but it is at least a step in the right direction. ( see article )
It seems as though many of my Gay friends are happy about the decision, so that makes me happy. It gives me hope. It would be wonderful if the church was leading the charge for equality, but I guess I need to be happy with the little victories that we get for the cause!

Friday, May 23, 2008

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N Friday Five

Friday Five- vacation thoughts....

It is a holiday weekend here in the UK, and the weather forecast for much of the country is not good!!! But we can still dream and so with that in mind I bring you this Friday Five.

1. Getting ready for summer, do you use the gradual tanning moisturisers ( yes gentlemen you too can answer this!!!), or are you happy to show your winter skin to the world? I tried the gradual tanners but I forget to put it on daily so it doesn't always works so well

2.Beach, mountains or chilling by the pool, what/ where is your favourite getaway? Beach by far, but i will take a pool. even better a pool by the beach.

3.Are you a summer lover or does the long break become wearing? I could do summer all year round

4.Active holidays; hiking swimming sailing, or lazy days? A little bit of both

5.Now to the important subject of food, if you are abroad do you try the local cuisine, or do you prefer to play it safe? Local food all the way!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

In a new space

So I am finally in a new space AKA NOT LIVING WITH MY PARENTS!!!! Do you get the excitement in that statement. It is not that i do not love my parents I do. I am also grateful to them for letting me live in their house until age 25 rent free and paying a numerous number of my bills. I am extremely grateful for that. However, there comes a time in a young adult's life where living with her parents is just does work anymore. I have been ready to move since I think about the age of 13 so the fact that I made it to 25 and everyone survived I think is a miracle in itself.

I really do like my new apartment. However my roommate hasn't fully moved in yet and i am a little lonely. I am definitely an extrovert. I need to be around people. The little community i am living in is just that a little community. It does have great paces to walk and run, but I only know one other person there so it will be nice when my roomie is finally in the apt as well. Also, we are still lacking Internet at the apt (I'm at panera now) and it is driving me crazy!!! I never knew just how dependent on the internet I am. I am hoping that we get it working by the end of the weekend.

ANyway more about my little space later.... off to do some work!