I've decided that I needed to do some simple pleasure reading. I know it's sounds crazy to most with all the reading that we do in seminary that I would picked to do more reading for enjoyment, but reading has always been my relaxation method. So I picked up a book about church(cause I jsut can't get enough) and my generation's disillusionment with the institutional church. I have really enjoyed it. Simply because it doesn't just point out the problems that my generation has with the church, but it puts some feelings behind it. Not only that, the book let's us know we do not have to disillusioned forever. There's a website that goes along with it www.dearchurch.com
I struggle all the time with my frustration of being called to ordained ministry, but feeling that the church in its current state just isn't what it should/could be. I want so much to be part of the positive change but fear that I may be stopped in my tracks. What keeps me strong is knowing the God is with me on this. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that. Sometimes I question the heck out of God as to why I'm here and if I can really do what God is calling me to do, but I just have to remember I'm not in any of this alone.