Year End Post

So it is December 31st. I can't believe the year 2007 is over. I am not quite sure what to thing about this year. I do know that the year really flew by. It seems like it was just a few months ago that I was packing to go to Guatemala. Guatemala was with out a doubt a life changing experience. I am so glad i took that trip. 2007 was the first full calendar year that I spent in seminary. It has probably been the toughest year of my academic and personal life. I have grown and changed a lot over this year. My friendships have become the most important piece of my life. with out these friendships I don't know how I would survive. This year I have really learned the friends that I can count out, and what it truly means to be a friend. I have learned that friends come and go and that going doesn't always need to be a dramatic event. That sometimes friendships just change and occasionally they end, but that does not make them any less valuable.

In 2007 I learned the values and stress of family. My grandfather's health is starting to fail. My father went through his first surgery. i have seen what it is to try and keep track of three house holds, and how large families are a blessing and a curse all at once. I have learned that family goes far beyond blood. that there are some friendships that blur the line of friend and family and for all of those people who blur that line I am most grateful.

There are two things that are very clear to me about 2007. I am going to become a minister and ministry will always be a part of me in some way shape or form. The second thing that is most clear to me in 2007 is that I am still learning what it means to be an adult, but maybe that is something that we never fully accomplish or maybe it is...

I wish everyone a happy and healthy 2008!

* Merry Christmas*

Well I am almost done with my traditional holiday festivities. The last stop will be around 5:30 when we go tot my paternal grandparents house for dessert and presents. I have survived my first Christmas Eve service, although I thought I was going to lose my voice. the service was nice and more special to me than I thought it was going to be. Christmas eve has always been my favorite day of the holiday season. even all those years that I had to go to the evil uncle's house, Christmas eve has always been my favorite. Mostly because of church services. As I looked onto the congregation with their candles lit, every happy memory of every Christmas eve came rushing back.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Let it snow let it snow let it snow

OK well i am going back on what I used to say. I used to always so I liked snow until Christmas and then I was done. well I have decided I like snow on Christmas eve as long as it is not to much to mess up travel plans, so that there can be a bout an inch or two of snow on the ground for Christmas Day and then i am done. Same New Year's eve a light snowfall at Midnight is perfect. To bad I live in the Northeast and that is just not the case. We are well into storm number three. the first storm was mostly ice , the second storm was ice and snow and the third storm was snow (4inches) and now sleet. oh fun oh fun.

What i have learned is that when my parents can longer shovel their own driveway I am either hiring someone to do it for them or they are going to live in "the home". We live in the same town as my grandparents which has been wonderful growing up, but now it means that we have two driveways to clear. Even with the snow blower (snow thrower depending on where you are from) it is a lot of work. It is kind of sad up until last winter Grandpa who was 85 at the time could still do all of this stuff for himself. sadly in the past couple years grandpa's health has been in a real decline. Unfortunately none of my 2000 ( OK not that many but there are a lot) want to really deal with it. Leaving my parents to deal with most of it. To be honest my one of my parents is handling it better than the other. It has consumed our lives and conversations and is just causing stress. of course I realize that a large part of the problem is that my parents are HORRIBLE at communicating.

Needless to say this is certainly a learning experience for me. Both in life and in ministry. I am in no way trying to counsel my family but definitely keeping track of things to keep in mind anytime I see this in the future.

Winding Down

The Semester is winding down and the year is winding down. I haven't been blogging as much as often as i normally do. Not because I don't have a lot going on because some of it is not blogable and some because I have completely lacked motivation to do so. I am in such a weird place in my life. Last week at school i had a really crappy week. i don't know exactly what ti was but I felt really stressed and sad. The worst part about it was that i could with out a doubt feel God in it. It was a very odd place to be in. I;m starting to come out of that a little bit now.

Right now I have one final and one paper standing in the way of my break. I decided not to take a class over Jan term. I have five goals for myself over the month of Jan.:

1. Visit some friends this is already planned so i know i will get this done

2. Fill out and send off my application for CPE yes i know I am probably already to late
3. Get some planning done for Church
4. read at least two books not for school
5. Get back into a regular gym routine that I can maintain during school

In other news I cut my hair. And I mean I really cut it. I had about 10 inches cut off and I donated it. I am getting used to the new style but everyone else seems to like it. I also lately have been worried about being single forever. While I am fully aware there is nothing wrong with being single for some reason the past week and half i have been really dwelling on it. I used to be the girl who championed singleness. Oh well. Not to much else is really going on. I am excited about getting to see my friends over January. I have some other political/ social justice/church stuff I am going to blog about but they will have to wait.

Off to bed before the final tmw

Friday Five!

Here then is this weeks Friday 5:

1. You have a busy week, pushing out all time for preparing worship/ Sunday School lessons/ being ready for an important meeting ( or whatever equivalent your profession demands)- how do you cope? I cope by just pushing through and then venting to my seminary /pastor friends who share the same problem.

2. You have unexpected visitors, and need to provide them with a meal- what do you do? Pray that i have some tomato sauce in the cupboard and some noodle and one other ingredient (meet or seafood) put on a smile and have a meal

Three discussion topics:

3. Thinking along the lines of this weeks advent theme; repentance is an important but often neglected aspect of advent preparations.....I need to make this a priority

4. Some of the best experiences in life occur when you simply go with the flow..... most of my closest friendships have come out of going with the flow

5. Details are everything, attention to the small things enables a plan to roll forward smoothly... this would be why things go don't go smoothly in my life

Bonus if you dare- how well prepared are you for Christmas this year? better than usual

Friday Five! Bah Humbug

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?

Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?

Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)

Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow.

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....

1) dessert/cookie/family food... First is Fruit Cake, my Dad loves the stuff. Next is anything my uncle's second wife cooks

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...) The home brewed beer my uncle gives us ( yes the same uncle with the wife that can't cook)

3) tradition (church, family, other) the staircase picture with my cousins at said uncle's house

4) decoration those blow up lawn ornaments especially when there are 250 on one lawn

5) gift (received or given) received fondue sets and yes it is sets plural because we got them several years in a row ( guess which person gives us that every year!)

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it. Johnny Mathis not because he is a bad singer but because my mom plays it over and over again! Also, several songs were ruined for me because my favorite uncle used to force the cousins to sing them

I know, I know.... pretty grumpy for November but why not get it out of our systems now so we are free to enjoy the rest of the festivities.

Found this interesting

I found this interesting.. I found this at cheesehead's and she found it elsewhere:

As found at Mary Beth's place. Here is a game developed by Jeanne of Social Class and Quakers, based on the copyrighted exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University.

If you play and post, please acknowledge their copyright.

Bold items are privileges I have had. Italics are mine.

Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp (sports and church camps)
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child it was done by family friends
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

Certified!!!!

I am a certified candidate for ordained ministry in the United Methodist church ( well provisionally assuming my psych eval is ok and nothing comes up in my back ground check. I am super excited. I wasn't to nervous going in. Only a little bit. I feel like I answered the question honestly and with integrity. I think one of the members is less than thrilled with. This one person basically asked me if you have to be part of a church to follow Jesus .. my answer in a nut shell NO. Yes I think Church helps in many ways, but is not a requirement. I mean aren't we supposed to be promoting and encouraging faith spirituality and a relationship with God and not just the church?

But I still passed my DCOM .....One more step down about a million to go.....



HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE

Bullet Style

Life has been crazy so here it is...

• I am grateful for my friends
  
• I am missing my college friends big time
• There is only two weeks left in the semester... where did the time go
• This week I go before my DCOM to become a certified candidate
• The field Hockey team that I have been helping coach lost in the state semifinals. They had a great season and were a fun bunch to coach
• I have never laughed so much in one weekend
  
• You need a lot of laughter to spend three days with 21 teenage girls
• Death is never easy unexpected death at a young age even harder
• Just when i think i have one particular situation under control it blows up again
• I live in dualities
• The church I serve always surprises in both good and bad
• We need change I'm just not sure how to get it...

Sorry that some of these are cryptic but that is how it has to be

Perspective

I am watching 20/20 right now and Diane Sawyer is doing a follow up to her story on Camden, NJ . It really puts things in perspective. When you hear a 13 year old say they have never had a best day in his life, that is sad. When you see a kid who really wants to be in school, knows that his only ticket out of poverty is an education and they are willing to do whatever they need to get it. You realize how much they take for granted. You realize exactly how selfish we are and how much we live in a bubble. I just can't express right now the desperation and in honesty guilt I feel.

Hello anyone home?

That maybe the question you are asking yourself about this blog. I have not been blogging with any type of regularity this semester. There are multiple reasons for that. First, school is kicking my butt this semester. Not so much in terms of work but in terms of being mentally draining. Even then it is not the I am learning so much I don;t know what to do with myself sense. Instead in more of the I am in class I should be learning something right? sense. Not that all my classes are bad. They just aren't as stimulating and exciting as the were last year. Therefor they do not lend themselves to be blogged about.

The other reason why I have not blogged as much is because dumb boy is still in my head and sometimes i get kind of sad about that . Which then makes me angry at myself because I know that i should not be wasting any more of my time.

Luckily yesterday there were some things worth blogging about. My mentor is working on her DMin and came to school the last two days to interview some of us about our ideas about the post modern church for a project for one of her classes. It was kind of weird for me answering the questions because she knew a lot of my answers. However, it was good for me to say them out loud in a more formal setting. There is potential that the video of our interviews will be shown to my Board of Ordained Ministry and she asked if I was comfortable with that. I did not say anything too awful about the current church but I was clear in the fact that the status quo was not working and I think church hierarchy and bureaucracy are part of the reason for that. So my answer to her was yes show it to who ever you want, because I am who I am and there is room for me to change and grow however, I don't think that these views are going to change that much except for maybe get a little stronger.

Second bloggable topic that is not related to ministry or school is local elections. Ever since I was a little kid I have like politics. In high school I used regular attend city council meetings and I attended charter review meeting (my city's governing document) and even added the the changes in the charter ( I even got to write the section myself). Well yesterday was election day in my home town. There is a very clear very deep "good old boys" network in my town. that for a long time has been very powerful and in the 5-7 years has done quite a bit of damage with the decisions they have made in regard to city government and to building (my town has become high rise central with luxury apartments, condos, multi-million dollar homes.. green space what is green space???). The last two years however we have had a great female mayor who has done a lot of work in a short amount of time to change the thinking of what Saratoga should look like and taking a step back from the local issues and really listening to what the community needs. Well she was the incumbent and was viciously attacked my her opponents. She was even challenged by her own party because she actually listened to the people and some times that meant not doing what the party expected her to do. These attacks were really vicious and sad. Unfortunately despite her best efforts she lost a fairly close election.Which is really sad to me. Here was a women who was willing to take on the old guard to make things better for everyone. I did not always agree with her, but she really did seem to work for the people. Sadly, I think our new mayor will be working for the developers and contractor of the city and those who will be willing to contribute to his next campaign. I have a feeling thing are going to get much worse in my hometown before they get better....

MY return to the Friday Five

I haven't played in a while so here it is!

It's a Pumpkin/Apple Friday Five

All Hallows Eve (Halloween) is near. As a child, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. We didn’t yet worry about razor blades in apples or popcorn balls or some of the other concerns people have with Halloween these days. Halloween was a chance to be mildly scared, and better yet, to dress up and pretend to be something we really weren’t. Let’s talk about that a bit, but then let’s add in some food ideas for this year. Where I live the leaves are falling, the temperature is chilly and pumpkins are for sale everywhere, along with many kids of apples. What's more, the "Holiday Season" will soon be upon us. ACK! I could use a new idea for dessert. So, here we go…

1. How did you celebrate this time of year when you were a child? Jumping in leaf piles and the neighborhood kids would make leaf forts and about 10 of us would go trick-or treating together

2. Do you and/or your family “celebrate” Halloween? Why or why not? And if you do, has it changed from what you used to do? We don't so much any more now that I am older, but this year I am craving a pumpkin

2. Candy apples: Do you prefer red cinnamon or caramel covered? Or something else? I'm not such a big fan but if I do I eat one it is caramel covered!

3. Pumpkins: Do you make Jack O’ Lanterns? Any ideas of what else to do with them? I love Jack O' Lanterns!

4. Do you decorate your home for fall or Halloween? If so, what do you do? Bonus points for pictures. Just a few pumpkins it's really more fall than Halloween

5. Do you like pretending to be something different? Does a costume bring our an alternate personality? No not really really, it;s only fun for me when a bunch of my friends do it

Bonus: Share your favorite recipe for an autumn food, particularly apple or pumpkin ones. I love mulled cider and this is an odd one.. i don't really enjoy backed fruit that much but when my mom makes apple pie like wrapping the raw pie crust around the Cinnamon and sugar apples

Lost and Found

I have lost my school mojo if someone could help me find it that would be great..... darn second year!

A few questions

Ok so I have questions for y'all...

Have any of you been to/lead a special themed worship such as a cancer awareness service or domestic violence awareness service? What did you like/not like? Or why have you not been to or led this type of worship? Would you ever attend/ lead this type of worship?

So apparently I am a little better than I thought

So today I preached for my preaching class and m delivery still needs some work. OK a lot of work, but apparently what I was saying was really good. My peers were helpful in what their critique of my delivery. I was very surprised about their reaction to my content. It helped me realize that I really do have the potential to be a preacher. Part of my delivery will get better as I have confidence in what I am saying.

This happened right when I needed it too. I was about to enter crisis mode, I was on the edge, now I'm a few yards back. Unfortunately it is the same struggles that I always have and that I know others have. that struggle with the organized church. What it means to be called to Ministry. Am I going to be able to make change? Am I supposed to make change? What is the change?

Then the big question if I am part of the organized church will I live authentically?

Like I said I am only a few yards away...

Not pleasntly surprised

So my bf( well.. now ex ) broke up with me over the phone on Saturday.... The reason you ask " I am an amazing person, but I need more dating experience before I get married, which I would like to do in the next four years." WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Right now I am angry and sad ... and I hate being sad... angry I can handle that just takes a trip to the gym... and I feel like I should not waste time being sad on a boy who breaks up with me over the phone...

pleasantly surprised

So yesterday I was a little nervous about my sermon.l Not because I didn't like or didn't think it was good, but because it was very clear social justice sermon. My past few sermons have kind of hinted at social justice and this one more less came out and said we all ( myself included and I was very clear about that) need to be more social justice conscious. I wasn't quite sure how they congregation was going to react. Well they liked it. And told me so, in more then that was a nice sermon on their to coffee hour. One person actually raised it in the joys and concerns, that the sermon was a joy. And this is how I know they really go it.. they were talking about it during coffee hour. They were talking about their experiences with poverty. I was pumped. Hopefully good things are to come.

Ahh the school life

Ok So I know i spend a lot of time on here complaining and sounding very bitter, but I have to admit that i really do like school, and I like ministry. Sometimes it is just easier to complain....

So I'm almost halfway through first semester. Where does the time go??? And I am not feeling too overwhelmed by work and sermon writing. SO far I have a pretty good handle on things. Although I do have to admit that when emergencies come up ( such as my dad having a seizure.. more on that later) that it does put a really big cramp in my schedule and I end up having to turn in at least one thing late. But hey most people will tell you supervised ministries journal are crazy and if anything has to give it is that because we do plenty of work for that class. Anyway my class leader was understanding and it is turned in now.

Half of my classes are pretty interesting. I really like Christian ethics and as hard as it is to do the role playing that our prof makes us do it really does help. And she has been really great at bringing in a variety of perspectives, that are helping me shape my own voice. Also, my novel theologies class is really helping me understand what It is to form theologies and make connections where you thought it was not possible to make connections. I actually get excited to write papers for those two classes.

My other classes however..... how do I say this nicely...... I spend a lot of time saying why am I there. Supervised ministry, the class that goes with our "field experience" NOT GETTING ANY THING OUT OF IT! The class part that is. And my preaching class.. the readings are ok, but the class eeh . I guess I should be happy that I like 50% of my classes.


Ok So On to my Dad. He had "routine" surgery on Monday. The day surgery type of thing. He didn't feel good most of the day but he did feel awful. Well the Doctor prescribed him a pain killer that caused him to have seizure. Of course it didn't happen till the second time that he took it. My mom had been with him all day so I told her that I would stay up with him for a few hours and make sure he got his meds. So I gave him the pain pill and five minutes latter he said he felt nausea, and I knew from experience that was normal on pain meds, so I went to make him a peanut butter sandwich because sometimes if you eat something it helps. Well While I was doing that he had a seizure it was the scariest 3 minutes of my life. Come to find out it was an adverse side affect of the pain meds. Greeeeaaattt. Well needless to say that was the last time he took the med. He is doing better now. Still lots of swelling,but over all better.

More about the new title

Yes I am procrastinating when I really have no time to procrastinate. But anyway i wanted to explain about my new title. The New tile reflects my love and identification with Process theology. In my systematic class we talked a lot about process theology and my professor always talked about how instead God being a puppeteer God was beckoning us or luring us. I love the journey metaphor so i put it all together. Hopefully my blog post will be more reflective of this title. So far second year has been a rocky road so we'll see what happens.... Now back to planning my service for Sunday.

New Blog title and website

I changed my blog title and website address to better reflect where I am theologically