For the majority of my life I have loved having 7 aunts. They have spoiled me rotten and have treated me somewhere in between sister and niece my entire life. In fact most of my cousins grew up very confused as to rather I was aunt or cousin. I love and respect them all.
However, right now with the care of my grandfather it has become very difficult. We all have opinions of what should happen and how it should happen. Unfortunately we are not communicating any of that amongst the group. There are all of these alliances. I don't really think that are alliances as much as it is a pain to have to call 6 people to let them know what is going on. Pius we are dealing with very emotional information. I get it.
What I don't get is how we are letting this tear our family apart. I truly believed we would be one of those family who would talk about things and work together to care for my grandparents AND care for one another. I seriously don't know what saddens me more the declining health of my grandfather or the declining state of my family.
What is worse is I don't know what to do. Part of me says voice your opinions. Tell them from your perspective as both a granddaughter and pastor that tearing each other apart isn't helping the situation. Part me wants to say just be a granddaughter live in oblivion, drive grandpa to a doctor's appointment, take my grandparents on errands, etc. But other than that just stay out of it. I just want what is best for the family but I don't know what that is....
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
Year End Post
So it is December 31st. I can't believe the year 2007 is over. I am not quite sure what to thing about this year. I do know that the year really flew by. It seems like it was just a few months ago that I was packing to go to Guatemala. Guatemala was with out a doubt a life changing experience. I am so glad i took that trip. 2007 was the first full calendar year that I spent in seminary. It has probably been the toughest year of my academic and personal life. I have grown and changed a lot over this year. My friendships have become the most important piece of my life. with out these friendships I don't know how I would survive. This year I have really learned the friends that I can count out, and what it truly means to be a friend. I have learned that friends come and go and that going doesn't always need to be a dramatic event. That sometimes friendships just change and occasionally they end, but that does not make them any less valuable.
In 2007 I learned the values and stress of family. My grandfather's health is starting to fail. My father went through his first surgery. i have seen what it is to try and keep track of three house holds, and how large families are a blessing and a curse all at once. I have learned that family goes far beyond blood. that there are some friendships that blur the line of friend and family and for all of those people who blur that line I am most grateful.
There are two things that are very clear to me about 2007. I am going to become a minister and ministry will always be a part of me in some way shape or form. The second thing that is most clear to me in 2007 is that I am still learning what it means to be an adult, but maybe that is something that we never fully accomplish or maybe it is...
I wish everyone a happy and healthy 2008!
In 2007 I learned the values and stress of family. My grandfather's health is starting to fail. My father went through his first surgery. i have seen what it is to try and keep track of three house holds, and how large families are a blessing and a curse all at once. I have learned that family goes far beyond blood. that there are some friendships that blur the line of friend and family and for all of those people who blur that line I am most grateful.
There are two things that are very clear to me about 2007. I am going to become a minister and ministry will always be a part of me in some way shape or form. The second thing that is most clear to me in 2007 is that I am still learning what it means to be an adult, but maybe that is something that we never fully accomplish or maybe it is...
I wish everyone a happy and healthy 2008!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
* Merry Christmas*
Well I am almost done with my traditional holiday festivities. The last stop will be around 5:30 when we go tot my paternal grandparents house for dessert and presents. I have survived my first Christmas Eve service, although I thought I was going to lose my voice. the service was nice and more special to me than I thought it was going to be. Christmas eve has always been my favorite day of the holiday season. even all those years that I had to go to the evil uncle's house, Christmas eve has always been my favorite. Mostly because of church services. As I looked onto the congregation with their candles lit, every happy memory of every Christmas eve came rushing back.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Let it snow let it snow let it snow
OK well i am going back on what I used to say. I used to always so I liked snow until Christmas and then I was done. well I have decided I like snow on Christmas eve as long as it is not to much to mess up travel plans, so that there can be a bout an inch or two of snow on the ground for Christmas Day and then i am done. Same New Year's eve a light snowfall at Midnight is perfect. To bad I live in the Northeast and that is just not the case. We are well into storm number three. the first storm was mostly ice , the second storm was ice and snow and the third storm was snow (4inches) and now sleet. oh fun oh fun.
What i have learned is that when my parents can longer shovel their own driveway I am either hiring someone to do it for them or they are going to live in "the home". We live in the same town as my grandparents which has been wonderful growing up, but now it means that we have two driveways to clear. Even with the snow blower (snow thrower depending on where you are from) it is a lot of work. It is kind of sad up until last winter Grandpa who was 85 at the time could still do all of this stuff for himself. sadly in the past couple years grandpa's health has been in a real decline. Unfortunately none of my 2000 ( OK not that many but there are a lot) want to really deal with it. Leaving my parents to deal with most of it. To be honest my one of my parents is handling it better than the other. It has consumed our lives and conversations and is just causing stress. of course I realize that a large part of the problem is that my parents are HORRIBLE at communicating.
Needless to say this is certainly a learning experience for me. Both in life and in ministry. I am in no way trying to counsel my family but definitely keeping track of things to keep in mind anytime I see this in the future.
What i have learned is that when my parents can longer shovel their own driveway I am either hiring someone to do it for them or they are going to live in "the home". We live in the same town as my grandparents which has been wonderful growing up, but now it means that we have two driveways to clear. Even with the snow blower (snow thrower depending on where you are from) it is a lot of work. It is kind of sad up until last winter Grandpa who was 85 at the time could still do all of this stuff for himself. sadly in the past couple years grandpa's health has been in a real decline. Unfortunately none of my 2000 ( OK not that many but there are a lot) want to really deal with it. Leaving my parents to deal with most of it. To be honest my one of my parents is handling it better than the other. It has consumed our lives and conversations and is just causing stress. of course I realize that a large part of the problem is that my parents are HORRIBLE at communicating.
Needless to say this is certainly a learning experience for me. Both in life and in ministry. I am in no way trying to counsel my family but definitely keeping track of things to keep in mind anytime I see this in the future.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Ahh the school life
Ok So I know i spend a lot of time on here complaining and sounding very bitter, but I have to admit that i really do like school, and I like ministry. Sometimes it is just easier to complain....
So I'm almost halfway through first semester. Where does the time go??? And I am not feeling too overwhelmed by work and sermon writing. SO far I have a pretty good handle on things. Although I do have to admit that when emergencies come up ( such as my dad having a seizure.. more on that later) that it does put a really big cramp in my schedule and I end up having to turn in at least one thing late. But hey most people will tell you supervised ministries journal are crazy and if anything has to give it is that because we do plenty of work for that class. Anyway my class leader was understanding and it is turned in now.
Half of my classes are pretty interesting. I really like Christian ethics and as hard as it is to do the role playing that our prof makes us do it really does help. And she has been really great at bringing in a variety of perspectives, that are helping me shape my own voice. Also, my novel theologies class is really helping me understand what It is to form theologies and make connections where you thought it was not possible to make connections. I actually get excited to write papers for those two classes.
My other classes however..... how do I say this nicely...... I spend a lot of time saying why am I there. Supervised ministry, the class that goes with our "field experience" NOT GETTING ANY THING OUT OF IT! The class part that is. And my preaching class.. the readings are ok, but the class eeh . I guess I should be happy that I like 50% of my classes.
Ok So On to my Dad. He had "routine" surgery on Monday. The day surgery type of thing. He didn't feel good most of the day but he did feel awful. Well the Doctor prescribed him a pain killer that caused him to have seizure. Of course it didn't happen till the second time that he took it. My mom had been with him all day so I told her that I would stay up with him for a few hours and make sure he got his meds. So I gave him the pain pill and five minutes latter he said he felt nausea, and I knew from experience that was normal on pain meds, so I went to make him a peanut butter sandwich because sometimes if you eat something it helps. Well While I was doing that he had a seizure it was the scariest 3 minutes of my life. Come to find out it was an adverse side affect of the pain meds. Greeeeaaattt. Well needless to say that was the last time he took the med. He is doing better now. Still lots of swelling,but over all better.
So I'm almost halfway through first semester. Where does the time go??? And I am not feeling too overwhelmed by work and sermon writing. SO far I have a pretty good handle on things. Although I do have to admit that when emergencies come up ( such as my dad having a seizure.. more on that later) that it does put a really big cramp in my schedule and I end up having to turn in at least one thing late. But hey most people will tell you supervised ministries journal are crazy and if anything has to give it is that because we do plenty of work for that class. Anyway my class leader was understanding and it is turned in now.
Half of my classes are pretty interesting. I really like Christian ethics and as hard as it is to do the role playing that our prof makes us do it really does help. And she has been really great at bringing in a variety of perspectives, that are helping me shape my own voice. Also, my novel theologies class is really helping me understand what It is to form theologies and make connections where you thought it was not possible to make connections. I actually get excited to write papers for those two classes.
My other classes however..... how do I say this nicely...... I spend a lot of time saying why am I there. Supervised ministry, the class that goes with our "field experience" NOT GETTING ANY THING OUT OF IT! The class part that is. And my preaching class.. the readings are ok, but the class eeh . I guess I should be happy that I like 50% of my classes.
Ok So On to my Dad. He had "routine" surgery on Monday. The day surgery type of thing. He didn't feel good most of the day but he did feel awful. Well the Doctor prescribed him a pain killer that caused him to have seizure. Of course it didn't happen till the second time that he took it. My mom had been with him all day so I told her that I would stay up with him for a few hours and make sure he got his meds. So I gave him the pain pill and five minutes latter he said he felt nausea, and I knew from experience that was normal on pain meds, so I went to make him a peanut butter sandwich because sometimes if you eat something it helps. Well While I was doing that he had a seizure it was the scariest 3 minutes of my life. Come to find out it was an adverse side affect of the pain meds. Greeeeaaattt. Well needless to say that was the last time he took the med. He is doing better now. Still lots of swelling,but over all better.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
PROUD MOMENT
I had to post about my amazing grandfather and the other Tuskegee airmen. Today they were awarded the Congressional medal of Honor ( as a group). After 65 years their service was finally recognized. They fought for a country that didn't even give them their respect. These men are the definition of hero!
I love you Grandpa!
check out these links
Saratogian
Times Union
ABC
Saratogian number 2
I love you Grandpa!
check out these links
Saratogian
Times Union
ABC
Saratogian number 2
Monday, November 27, 2006
Parents
I just realized that I love my parents and i know in their own strange way that they love me, but they just zap the life right out of me. A large part of that is because I spend my time trying to be the daughter they want me to be or the daughter that they think I am. They just have no idea of who I am or the changes that have occurred in my life. Partly because I don't let them in on it and partly because when I do let them in on it I feel like I'm being attacked.
My dad is trying to really supportive in this whole becoming a pastor process. But he just doesn't get it. And everyone keeps telling me he never will. But getting him to understand that is hard. The problem is he is really trying and I get frustrated because I'm explaining it as best I can and he just can't make the leap. Partly because I think he struggles with his own faith, and thinks I can be the one to guide him through and I just can't be.
My mom, I just don't know where she is. She doesn't react outwardly that often and when she doesn't I often see it as a negative. I;'m not sure that is fair to her. In fact i know it's not. There is just so much history there. For a long time ( and passably still) there was a lot of jealously there. Never said but completely understood. She too struggles in her faith journey. I think she wants to go there but something holds her back. I'm just not sure what it is. Nor do I think I can be the one to help her either.
I always tell people I'm a product of my parents they raised me to be different from them but they didn't really know what they were actually doing. I am really different from them. It's hard sometimes I really don't know what to do with that. I am happy I am the person I am, it's just hard that I can't fully explain / share that with my parents.
My dad is trying to really supportive in this whole becoming a pastor process. But he just doesn't get it. And everyone keeps telling me he never will. But getting him to understand that is hard. The problem is he is really trying and I get frustrated because I'm explaining it as best I can and he just can't make the leap. Partly because I think he struggles with his own faith, and thinks I can be the one to guide him through and I just can't be.
My mom, I just don't know where she is. She doesn't react outwardly that often and when she doesn't I often see it as a negative. I;'m not sure that is fair to her. In fact i know it's not. There is just so much history there. For a long time ( and passably still) there was a lot of jealously there. Never said but completely understood. She too struggles in her faith journey. I think she wants to go there but something holds her back. I'm just not sure what it is. Nor do I think I can be the one to help her either.
I always tell people I'm a product of my parents they raised me to be different from them but they didn't really know what they were actually doing. I am really different from them. It's hard sometimes I really don't know what to do with that. I am happy I am the person I am, it's just hard that I can't fully explain / share that with my parents.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)