Happy Birthday Shout Out

This is not normal for my blog, but it is something that I must do. I know she pops in occasionally so I have to wish my Pastor a very very very happy _0 Birthday!

I know you weren't looking forward to this birthday, but you have done amazing things in you time here so far, and I know there are many more things to come.

Thank you for your unending support. I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!!

Spiritual Disciplines

So this week for our Public Practice of theology class we had to write a paper about our spiritual lives and our spiritual disciplines. I realized what a drastic change I have made over the past year and a half. It's been a year and a half since I experienced my call to ministry. Right before that time my prayer life had picked up a bit, but I didn't have to much else going on spiritually. Then came this very unexpected, sometimes till scary, but for the most wonderful call to ministry, and I tired to instill other spiritual disciplines in my life. The growth of those disciplines have been very helpful in my life. I feel that I my stress level while it tends to be higher ( I am in seminary folks!) it doesn't get the best of me a easily. Journaling and prayer are the most helpful with that. My prayer life has been great lately. It funny because everyone tells you that is the first to go in seminary. My Bible study ( beyond what we have to go for class) has been ok, but definitely has room for improvement.

Last night was my first meeting with my spiritual direction group. What an awesome and helpful experience.

For the past few weeks I've struggled a little bit with my call because I'm disappointed/disillusioned with the organized Church. However, somewhere along the line I turned that into disappointment/disillusionment with God. When really that was not the case at all. It's with the Church. I have no doubt about God or the presence of God in my life.

The weekend

So I have to be honest I didn't know what to expect this weekend. I went back to my undergrad for homecoming weekend. I skipped out on homecoming last year to attend my aunt's 50th birthday party. I had no idea what to expect especially because I am a totally different person from the person I was in undergrad. The first thing everyone wanted to know was " is she going to go to the bar?" Yes, I was a party girl in undergrad. And yes I went to the bar with my friends and yes I had a drink. I think it put everyone at ease. A lot of my friends and acquaintances still aren't sure of what to make of me going into the ministry, but it lead to a lot of great conversations.

I not only saw my peers, but I also got to visit with my former professors and our campus ministers. We talked a lot about the direction of the church. How young people are reacting, what we can do change the perceptions of church. I got lots of advice to enjoy seminary and to learn as much as I can, and get as many experiences as I can.

Overall it was fun weekend. I saw almost everyone I wanted to. I did miss some key people (sorry sis). But I did realize the past is the past and there is no going back.

Personality test

Everyone else was doing and I thought it was fun:

Benevolent Designer

not sure why it is showing up twice

Reading week

So It's reading week, and I had this wonderful idea that while it was reading week I was going to spend all my time getting ahead. Not just getting my work done for next week but really and truly getting ahead..... well that didn't work. It's crazy how much better I am about getting my work done when I don't have time to do it. So needless to say next weeks assignments are mostly read and I at least looked at my assignments for the following week. Oh well I guess my brain just needed a little break. At least I don't have any mid-terms or big papers due.

The good thing is today I start my traveling. I am visiting my one of my College friends in Philly today and tomorrow thru Sunday I'll be in Ohio visiting another friend! So reading week was useful for something.

Dear Church:Letters From a Disillusioned Generation

I've decided that I needed to do some simple pleasure reading. I know it's sounds crazy to most with all the reading that we do in seminary that I would picked to do more reading for enjoyment, but reading has always been my relaxation method. So I picked up a book about church(cause I jsut can't get enough) and my generation's disillusionment with the institutional church. I have really enjoyed it. Simply because it doesn't just point out the problems that my generation has with the church, but it puts some feelings behind it. Not only that, the book let's us know we do not have to disillusioned forever. There's a website that goes along with it www.dearchurch.com

I struggle all the time with my frustration of being called to ordained ministry, but feeling that the church in its current state just isn't what it should/could be. I want so much to be part of the positive change but fear that I may be stopped in my tracks. What keeps me strong is knowing the God is with me on this. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that. Sometimes I question the heck out of God as to why I'm here and if I can really do what God is calling me to do, but I just have to remember I'm not in any of this alone.

Identity

So much for trying to post at least once a week.. oh the life of a seminarian.

Lately I have been pretty down and I could not figure out why. I kept saying I needed some type of social justice issue to sink myself into, yet I could not figure out what. However, I realized that I was searching for an outward struggle because I am facing an internal struggle. I am having a struggle with my identity. My father is black my mother is white. I am mixed. Yet my skin color is very light. Most people just assume that I am white. However, I am much closer to my dad;s side of the family, so that is where I would prefer to identify myself.

Here at Drew there is such diversity and a lot of cultural opportunities for all kinds of cultures. IT is wonderful, but my struggle is finding my place in the balls community. It is where my heart is, but I just do not feel like I fit there. And maybe that is just my stuff. It may be all in my head that I am not accepted. I feel that I kind of am but I always feel like I have to prove some something.

Matriculation

I realize that I didn't post about matriculation last wed. For those of you not familiar with the Drew Tradition, we have a Chapel service to celebrate our matriculation. We sign a book that has been signed for a 139 years. It was a great service. Len Sweet gave an inspiring sermon about weathering the perfect storm that the church is in now in. It was very memorable. My pastor who is a Drew alum came down. It was great to see her on her old stomping grounds. I feel like everyone here knows her. It's a little intimidating to know what a great student she was here and the impact that she made here. It does give me a little extra incentive to do better. Not that I needed any.... The other cool thing is that I'm starting exactly 10 years after she started. I love that I can share my experiences with her and she understands!

Anyway it is a day that I will never forget!

Work

Well now I don't have nearly as much time as I did before because I started working in the Undergraduate Dean's office. It's only been two days but it's been pretty good so far. A lot of it is similar to what I did in my years spent temping. I actually don't mind doing office work. I guess that will be a good thing when I'm a pastor, but I have feeling then I will not enjoy it nearly as much.

My time at Seminary keeps getting better and better even with a larger work load. The people that I have met and the friendships that are developing are great. Although I have noticed there are very few superficial conversations. Most conversations turn into deep theological discussions. It's pretty interesting.

RevGalBlogPals Friday Five: Brushes with Greatness

1. Tell us about a time you met someone famous.... I've met David Cassidy on several occasions. He comes into the little convenient store that I work at during the summer. He's pretty nice guy.

2. Tell us about a celebrity you'd like to meet.... This one is Easy.... BETTE MIDLER. She is a great performer and has done amazing things for NYC

3. Tell us about someone great who's *not* famous that you think everyone ought to have a chance to meet. ... My pastor. She is a great role model for strong females in Ministry. She is my strongest supporter.

4. Do you have any autographs of famous people? Mickey Mouse and the Disney crew but that's about it.

5. If you were to become famous, what would you want to become famous for? Being active in Social Justice

Bonus: Whose 15 minutes of fame was up long, long ago? Paris Hilton and Company

Title change

I am at Drew, but I had thought about this before, I needed to change my blog title. I need to be inclusive. It has always been about God. When I first realized that I had used exclusive language and I mentioned to my pastor she said I just figured you were talking about Jesus. And yes I'm trying desperately to follow his example, but for me right now it's really about God. Yes, I know for some they are one in the same, and that is a debate for another day.....

Anyway, new title, same blog, hopefully with some more interesting posts coming.

WOW

So it's been two weeks at Drew.. and all I can say is wow. I am home. After a week of orientation an and a week of classes and a two day retreat and I know Drew is home. I have met the most wonderful people and had the must stimulating and exhausting and funny conversations that I have ever had. One of my classmates put it best when he said you don't pass through the school it also passes through you, and I can feel that. The people and the culture are so rich. I just thank God for it everyday

Reason no 1 why the administrative side of drew stinks

In the tradition of Melissa over at Going on to perfection... I am going to complain about the administrative side of Drew... so when setting up our room my roommate and I set up the TV and telephone by the cable and telephone jack only to find out today that those are the new jacks and they aren't working yet. So either we have to rearrange furniture or go with out phone or TV!!! HOW Annoying! Oh and the old phone jack doesn't even exist in out room anymore!!!!

First day

Well I had my first day of Class. It went well. I am really excited about all the learning that is going to occur here, both in and out of the classroom. Especially at lunch or any time when I am with my classmates for that matter. I am definitely off to a great start at making friends. And so far I've been pretty good about working out and getting school work done. Huge steps for me compared to undergrad. I know it's week one but I'[m pretty optimistic about both things staying on track.

Dinner and A day with perfect stranger

So haven't done a book review yet and this one won't quite be one either, but Dinner with a Perfect Stranger an invitation Worth Considering and A Day with a Perfect Stranger by David Gregory, are great books. For me they really speak to what my ministry is about right now; developing a relationship with God. And for me right now for as much as I want to be a pastor I don't care if that relationship takes place in the context of Church. It is more important for a person to develop a relationship with God then a relationship to a church. That is not to say that a Church, as it is commonly thought of can't foster that relationship, it is to say that we should not assume because one is not part of a church that they can not have a solid relationship with God.

I think that may be the downfall of current mainline religions. We have put emphasis on our membership numbers and our appearance as the Body of Christ and have not put our focus on building a relationship with God in order to become part of The Body. So often we struggle with the traditions , and rituals that lose sight of what those traditions and rituals are about. They are about having a greater connection with God.

We accept the difference and marriage styles, the different relationship parents have with their children, different styles of friends,etc. We accept that they are different but we still consider them acceptable. Why is that so often we do not feel the same way about a person's relationship with God. We do judge people if they don't meet their friends for coffee once a month as we do, but we are quick to judge them if they don't go to church on Sunday.

I am a church going person. In fact I truly enjoy going to church. I feel that is where I most often connect with deeply with God. But it is not the only place that I connect with God. If another person doesn't feel comfortable in a church setting I would never want them to see that as a barrier to their relationship with God. Because their are certainly other ways to meet God and to a foster a relationship with God.

greetings from Drew

I am sorry for the time lapse in blogging, but as you can imagine I was very busy geting ready for school. I feel like busy is the theme of this blog. However. I have arrived at DREW. I am HERE!!!! In case you cna't tell I am so very excited about it. Orientation was very long but informative. I hvae have no doubt that I am at the place God intented me to be at. I am so excited for this journey. Everyone keeps saying there will be ups and downs and I feel that there is no other place where I would like to expirence them.

The community here is so welcoming, open and honest. I have already met some amazing people. I know that this will be another place where I will make life long friends. I can't wiat for classes to start. I have such great anticpation for the discussions and the debates that willl occur.

The icing on the cake was meeting Ben and Melissa from the blogoshere world. They are truly great people and have very helpful to me.

Well I'm off to organixe my apartment some more and do a bit of fun readding before all the calss reading starts

Two weeks

Well orientation at Drew is less then two weeks away and I am super excited!!! I can't wait to start school. I've been buying new things, organizing and packing. I am really really excited.
I just can't wiat to get started and it's less then two weeks away!!! :-)

Practice what i preach....

So I preached a sermon on taking time for yourself to relax and refresh and most importantly to Pray. For about two weeks up until my sermon I as really good at doing that, but this week it just hasn't happened and I can really feel the difference. I know from what people have told me and what I have read that pastors are always told they need to spend time on self-care, and I am really really going to have to work on that and rememeber that both for now and in the future.

My time house sitting is almost over. I'm kind of sad to be leaving such a great space. However I'm very happy my pastor is coming home!

Sermon number 2

Well sermon number two has been preached. I had a Few family and friends there which was very nice. I did the whole service this time which was interesting, I made a few mistakes here and there about what was happening in the service. We moved the special music round and I forgot. More importantly I forgot to ask for other announcements... whoops. But over all it went very well. I didn't think this sermon was as good as the first one . It was ok and I received a few compliments on it. My congregation is very supportive of me, which is great.

The good thing is I'm looking forward to having more opportunities to preach. I'm learning more and more each time. The best advice I heard today was not to worry so much about how I sound or if I make a mistake, people are really listening from the message. Definitely something I need to remember.

Another learning experience with many more to come. Little over a month till school! :-)

House sitting

I was kind of excited about house sitting because it meant two weeks out of my parents house. However, as with most things I was a little nervous. I have never been one for spending time alone in a house. Even as a teen I didn't like it. I always use to leave all the lights on in the house.

Right now though I feel very at home and very relaxed. I'm House sitting for my pastor and I can really feel God in the house. My prayer time has been great. It's not as if there are a ton of crosses around or anything. There are a few and some beautiful ones, but nothing unusual. It just feels very homey and I feel good. I even felt better at work this morning and getting up early didn't even affect me.

I'm pretty sure it's the combination of the sense of freedom doesn't hurt.

But truly feeling God in your living space makes such a difference.